More than a Year

It was so nice to be able to get my thoughts and emotions out on a page.  I'm so much better at typing so I thought why not start again. 

It's been more than a year in England.  If I'm honest, it has been a year of frustration, axiety, stress and feelings of isolation.  I don't want to give you the wrong impression that it is all bad, but likewise I want to give the reality.  After more than a year, we still have no true friendships.  There are no people our age in the church community.  Several things have been different than first anticipated.  We have struggled through numerous things including vehicles, bus passes, training/mentoring, and many others. 

England, however, is still where I know I was supposed to come.  There have been some amazing periods of Growth in my life.  God has been my only companion outside of Zach and it has caused me to rely so much more on Him.  I have read more and learned more about myself and my husband this year than I would have ever learned if we had not come.  I have also learned the importance of accountability and leadership is in a church.  I have met some silly teenagers whom I can't help but love. 

England is very much the "sour patch kid" commercials.  (First thier sour, then their sweet.) I have been lonely and isolated.  I have feel not needed and neglected.  (sour) but I've also seen the encouragement we have unwittingly become, the love that's grown in my teens and the way God is growing us (sweet). 

We're looking into ways to come back.  We leave March 12th.  The only way to come back is in a completley different regard/structure.  We hope we've found just that. 

Father, as always, guide our paths.  Thank you for revealing both the challenges and the benefits of England.  For being my comfort in those times of isolation.  For building me up with your word and through my husband.  Continue to grow us together and toward you.  Direct us and use us. 

Other

Other: Of a different character or quality

I got in a short discussion about being "Other". How God is the ultimate OTHER... the Ultimate difference from Man and yet we are created in His Image. When we come into this faith we are called to become Other. "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12:2 ESV)
It's said a different way later in Hebrews 12:4, "Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord."

The word Holy in both Greek and Hebrew literally translates to mean SEPARATE or OTHER.

So in this Lent Season strive to have peace with one another and to be OTHER to be HOLY. To transform your thoughts to those that are of God. To put His will over your own wants and desires.

I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud

I Wandered Lonely As A Cloud  

by William Wordsworth

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced, but they
Out-did the sparkling leaves in glee;
A poet could not be but gay,
In such a jocund company!
I gazed—and gazed—but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

      For oft, when on my couch I lie
       In vacant or in pensive mood,
    They flash upon that inward eye
      Which is the bliss of solitude;
  And then my heart with pleasure fills,
     And dances with the daffodils. 

 The title of this Blog may be the exact way I feel. So for the few people who may possibly read this a small picture into my head.  Let me clarify. England is where I feel led... Where I know God was calling Zach and therefore I'm happy to be here. I am incredibly happy to be married to Zach. We can spend hours talking and laughing. OUR relationship is Amazing... I wouldn't trade it for anything. That being said... there are NO people remotely close to my age or that share anything in common with me. I feel so lonely. I guess its my social side in need of friends. I also have no job... which leads me to the glaringly obvious idea that I'm not NEEDED in this place. Makes for a crappy day... Nothing to do. No one to see. Waiting. Waiting for Zach to get done with the work he loves and enjoys. Mind you... He wants more than me for me to be happy and find something I LOVE to do. Sadly, I just can't find anything to do. I guess I'll continue my escape in books!! On to Lord of the Rings.

Hello Blogger World

Well, I'm married. Started a new blog with the Hubby If you are at all interested about the UK travels follow along... at atozlangford.blogspot.com

I may post on here occasionally but to get the update check it out.

Cheers.

13 days

There was a dream.

I'm going to be married in 13 days. So much is happening. I had surgery to remove a tumor from under my right knee friday. I had a bachelorette party on crutches Saturday. I have to move out of my apartment by this weekend. Meet with Pastor Ken Tuesday night after work. I can't drive for 10 days. I'm excited about my family being in Decatur starting NEXT Tuesday. My last day of work is Wednesday week of the wedding. Honeymoon to Washington state Aug 31-Sept 8th. Leave for the UK Sept 12th PENDING my Visa being approved.

I'm stressed. People are selfish and demanding.

There still is a dream...

I hope it all pulls through.

Encouraging Grace

I'm in Anderson, Indiana.

I took the week off and joined Zach and his pastor for the big "camp meeting" here. It's were ppl from the church gather for a time of pouring into one another. The days consist of topical conferences about nearly anything within the church: stewardship, discipleship, youth, children's ministries, worship, women's ministries... etc etc etc.

I got to meet John and Linda Pemberton. They are the couple from Birkenhead, England I'll be living with. I was honestly nervous meeting them (will they like me, do they have expectations).

They are fantastic.

I love the great encouragement I've gotten while here. It's funny. You expect this kind of support from your family. Its taught me so much. That if you are going were Christ is leading... no matter what anyone else thinks. God will provide family in the form of Brothers and Sisters in Christ. People here have showed me grace and love. They are excited. They ask for my email so they can be there for the whole process. I have made many friends and people even from initial meeting have shown me Christ.

Father,
thank you for your grace and encouragement. I deserve neither. May you get all the glory.
Amen

Peace

Its been awhile.

So much has happened. 1) I'm engaged 2) I'm moving to Birkenhead, England

My mind is crowded with jumbled thoughts of honesty and vulnerability today. A good place to be I think. I'm so excited for what God is already doing in my heart and mind. I am nervous. Zach has an established relationship in England. I'll just be his wife. (still weird to think of someone being my husband... but again I couldn't be more happy or excited) I want to dive in, unrestrained, to how God is already working there. My heart aches for intentional relationships. I cry some days because I'm so ready to be doing anything more than what I'm doing now.

There is no internal battle anymore. I was made for one purpose... and one alone.

To demonstrate God's love to the broken-hearted, the desolate, the hopeless, the lost, the sad -- People ultimately like me, like you. As Donald Miller put it "we're called to hold our hands against the wounds of a broken world, to stop the bleeding."

I desire that.

Zach is at camp this week. Oh how I wish I were there. Sharing the gospel. Loving on teens. Pray for him this week (and the other counselors) for strength and discernment. For patience and opportunity. He is such an encouragement in my life and makes me so excited about the grace of God I don't deserve.

Perhaps this post is slightly confusing or unorganized. Its my brain today. The basics are in the title... I have never had such peace about my life and my future. No matter how little I know, how scary it may seem. I know it is right and good.

I was made adaptable for such a time as this. Wherever you are, whatever your doing I leave you with this

"For now we see in a mirror dimly lit, but then face to face;now I know in part; but then i will know fully just as I also have been fully known" -1 Corinthians 13:12