Ever just had one of those days...
The ones where the only solution is an amazing cup of good coffee, a book or good movie, maybe a hot bath and definitely a good friend...
Today is one of those days.
Its not a bad day - just a day i want to curl up and relax. These are days I need a friend. My problem with this is finding what I would call a good friend. I have a few... but not as many as I'd thought. Days like today make me evaluate all of my relationships. Friends - yes, I realize "I know everyone..." that doesn't mean we are friends. Most of those people in my life a mere aquaintences. I may even know alot about these aquaintences -- it seems as if we were "close" but to me a friendship is two sided.
You know me I know you.
Often I care so much about people and I really care what is going on in THEIR life, I check up on THEM, I make plans with THEM -- but rarely do I find someone with as much interest in me. If I didn't make any effort for a week I doubt - besides mass generic texts - 4 people will try to call or text me. Days like today make me want to stop. What if I did? Would people notice and make the effort?
Sadly I have to say I think they wouldn't. People usually get upset at me if we haven't hung out or ask where I've been only after I return. They expect that effort from me. (Where have you been?) Its standard "Audrey". The problem is it isn't me. I'm not all that interested all the time. I don't always want to go, do, plan -- I want to be wanted.
Selfish as that sounds i think we all do.
To all my friends - I thank you! you are a phone call away any hour. you're who i want to be with on days like today. you tolerate my late night crankyness and enjoy my ridiculous stories and terrible humor. You love my Audness! :)
